How subjective huh? I mean there are women who give up children without so much a blink of an eye and there are women who cry when they leave their child for more than an hour. Everyone is so different, so I think the least judgement and most authentic way to approach what motherhood means is to tell you what motherhood means to me.
I’ll be honest, after living with parents where there was no love lost and having to split my weekends and holidays from the age of 7 – I never wanted kids. I looked at my parents and I wondered how I would ever be able to know better than they did and would I ever be able to commit to someone for a lifetime and have children secure in the fact that they would never go through what I did and then I met my husband.
Now I know this sounds cliche and it is. My husband offered a life of teamwork, respect and open communication. Characteristics I had never seen in my parent’s marriage. And so 6 six years and 4 months after our relationship started our son was born.
Motherhood is sacrifice. Sacrificing your selfishness without question. Sacrificing your sleep, your time, your quiet reading without question. Sacrificing your control, this was a big one for me, babies don’t run on a schedule and any system you previously enjoyed goes not just out the window but to a neighbouring planet.
Motherhood is love. An unconditional love for the small human you have created and for your baby daddy. Sharing a child with the man I love made me love him so much more. Its like we levelled up into the next stage of life and we were doing it hands clasped and with love in our hearts. Its an elevation.
Motherhood is acceptance. Acceptance that your baby may not sleep well or latch well or that they may be fussy or that they may be grizzly. Acceptance that your body will not be the same and that your skin will always feel different. Acceptance that you may not always get it right but that you always try your absolute best.
Motherhood is a whirlwind. Its hard some days and feels so easy in other moments. Its first smiles and sickness. Its finding out what your baby thinks is funny and harrowing screaming when they’re unhappy. Its snuggles and cuddles but its also temperatures and moments of sheer chaos.
Motherhood is devotion. Every ounce of your energy resources are driven to keeping a tiny infant happy and thriving. Even when you’re exhausted, you play games with them, laugh with them and spend every moment making sure they have everything they need. Its a level of devotion like I’ve never experienced.
If you’ve read some of my other posts you will know that my bonding process with my son wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows but three months down the line I am entirely intertwined with him. Our life before him is non existent and everything he does is celebrated. Every conversation with him is cherished. He has had such an overwhelming effect on us and made us a family.
Motherhood is my ability to love and provide for my son regardless of whether I’m exhausted, sick or needing quiet time. Motherhood is putting my son’s needs ahead of my own but most importantly motherhood is being humble enough to learn who I am now because of my child.
©The quotes in this post do not belong to The Sanity Fairy. The photo does belong to The Sanity Fairy.